T-minus 1 day.
I'm just sitting here looking at my life arrayed in disorganized fashion all over my floor, taking a break from packing.
Though the lessons are only just beginning, packing has made me realize just how dependent my life is on things and people. I am realizing how attached I am. I am trying to fit four months of "necessities" into a suitcase and doing a horrible job at it. I keep having to open it up and take more things out.
This preparation process has also made me think about how easy life is for me right now. I know exactly what to expect for everything I do, everywhere I go, and for the majority of the time, everyone I come in contact with.
I am about to go through a major change of scenery, and though I am not even there yet, I am already realizing how much I do not want to live an "attached" life. Attached to people, attached to places, attached to things. What I am desiring is not some sort of nomadic life devoid of friendships, relationships and necessities. I am talking about a life lived outside of my comfort zone.
I want my hands to be held open to receive the blessings that the Lord gives to me, and open for him to take them away, clinging to nothing. In reality, I can't count on any person, place, or thing in my life to always stick around. I am utterly alone in this life, except for Jesus. So, doesn't it make sense to detach my security from (seemingly) consistent, comfortable things, stuff, and people and attach only to him?
That's really way easier said than done. Jesus is the only one who can reposition my heart into being that way. I hope he teaches me more about that while I am in Spain.
For now, I'm just sitting here.. trying to wrestle all my junk into a suitcase.
Beth, this is soo good. So true.
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